The No-Cry Sleep Solution
Elizabeth Pantley's Gentle Ways to Help Baby Sleep Through the Night
Review of Elizabeth Pantley's 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution'. Gentle but effective alternatives to 'crying it out' methods of getting baby to sleep through the night.
When parents have a problem getting baby to sleep through the night, they are often advised by everyone from health professionals to family members to let the child ‘cry it out.’ Elizabeth Pantley’s book comfortably fills the gap between this painful ‘solution’ to sleepless nights, and the advice to just ‘live with it.' Pantley argues that it is possible to help your baby to sleep for longer and longer stretches at night without resorting to neglect.
'Crying it Out' is Harmful
Many parents find the idea of 'crying it out' unacceptable, and increasingly there is research to show that not only does this ‘method’ disrupt the sensitive bond between mother and child, but it is in fact harmful to future brain development and emotional wellbeing. For examples, see attachment parenting expert Dr Sears and the Australian Association for Infant Mental Health.
The Desperation of Sleep Deprivation
Pantley speaks from experience: two of her four children were poor sleepers, and one regularly woke eight times a night at the age of one! She knows the desperation that parents feel when they are barely functioning from lack of sleep. It is this desperation that makes parents vulnerable to well-meaning but ill-informed advice to leave baby to cry, rather than responding to his/her nighttime needs.
The book emerged out of Pantley’s extensive research as she looked for solutions to her baby’s sleep problem. Unlike other baby books on the market, she doesn’t prescribe particular courses of action, but gives a ‘menu’ of sleep solutions to create your own ‘personal sleep plan’, according to what you feel is best for the family.
Whether you are co-sleeping or sleeping in a separate room to your baby, Pantley shows how you can use different cues to make nighttime a more pleasant experience. The mechanics of sleep and how babies’ sleep differs from adults, is also discussed in a straightforward manner. Sleeping ‘logs’ are encouraged to track your progress, and the safety of baby’s sleeping set-up is prioritised.
Encouraging Healthy Sleep Associations
One of Pantley’s key ideas is that daytime sleep is linked to nighttime sleep. To this end she gives ideas on improving the quality of baby’s daytime naps. While routines, both nap and bedtime, are emphasised, it is more in the interests of encouraging a variety of healthy sleep associations than to ensure baby fits conveniently into parents’ lives, as other parenting books, such as ‘Secrets of the Baby Whisperer’ often imply. There are ideas for newborns and for babies four months and up, although Pantley mentions that babies are usually only developmentally ready to sleep right through, from four months.
The book’s style is encouraging, humorous, accessible, and above all, compassionate – for both babies and sleep-deprived parents. And if you don’t achieve success with her plan? Pantley encourages parents to keep going and gives ideas on how to analyse what they could do differently. She also discusses how to deal with parental sleep still being disturbed, after baby is sleeping through. After all, it can take some time to recover normal sleep patterns after having disturbed nights for so long.
Encourages Intuitive Parenting
This book is a very welcome addition to the gradually growing trend of attachment parenting-oriented parenting books. Instead of providing blanket solutions, it acknowledges the uniqueness of every baby and parent, and promotes a sense of trust in one’s own intuition as a parent.
One only has to look at some of the more popular parenting forums on the internet to see how many people are using and discussing its ideas.
