Review of Beyond Time-Out – From Chaos to Calm
Effective Discipline Strategies to Restore Family Peace
Jul 21, 2009
Parenting advice presented over the last 40 years has failed parents, because it has encouraged them to relinquish control and power to their children. This has led to chaos in countless modern day families. Dr. Beth Grosshans' self-help book, Beyond Time-Out: From Chaos to Calm, allows parents to see the resulting imbalance of power and how it erodes the family. She then helps parents to identify their parenting styles and learn how to use a five step strategy to combat unruliness and restore balance within the family.
Imbalance of Family Power
Imbalance of Family Power, or IFP, is insidious, as children have no idea how to deal with the power their parents have handed over to them. As a result, they are anxious, out of control, and difficult to parent. They are desperately looking for leadership from their parents, who are failing miserably in providing it.
Parenting Styles
Grosshans identifies four parenting styles, which she terms the pleasers, pushovers, forcers, and outliers. Each style has a unique way of contributing to IFP. Each style is outlined to allow parents to clearly identify which is most like theirs. Concrete examples outline the pitfalls of each style, guiding parents to understand where their styles buckle under the pressure of providing effective leadership and discipline.
The Five Step Parenting Strategy
What are parents to do? Time-outs have limited success, and children that are out of control can rarely be disciplined effectively with them. Dr. Grosshans presents an alternative. She calls her strategy the Ladder. The Ladder is a simple, direct, and scripted technique for disciplining children. There are five steps to the ladder, each with a simple goal and a simple script. If the child responds, there is no need to continue to the next step. If he does not, the parent climbs the ladder to the next step.
Parenting Outside the Home
The Ladder can be used within the home, which is where Grosshans recommends that parents begin to use it. However, parenting is not confined to the home: children and parents shop at the malls, go to restaurants, visit friends, and take trips in cars. Grosshans knows this. Each of these venues is covered in this comprehensive guide, where she adapts the Ladder and puts it to use in a variety of differing situations.
Restoring Peace
The result of climbing the ladder is a break-down of IFP. It encourages respect and cooperation from children. It fosters respect and cooperation within parents as well. This ultimately restores balance in the home, allowing both children and their parents to enjoy the peace and joy that comes with it.
Finding Out More
Dr. Grosshans is a clinical psychologist with a private practice. She is also a frequent speaker. This video will give you more information about her, her approach to parenting, and her book.
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