Review: I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy
Aaron Cooper's Helpful Guide Debunks Age-Old Parenting Myths
Aug 16, 2008
There is nothing wrong with wanting to raise happy children, however the degree to which parents today focus their energies on cultivating happiness as the ultimate purpose and goal for their children is misguided and not in the best interest of the children.
In I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy, Aaron Cooper and Eric Keitel present parents with a beneficial and informative look at why this kind of parenting mentality is detrimental to kids and offers a thoroughly detailed plan of action on how to revamp a parent's thinking in order to plant the seeds of true happiness in our kids.
What's Wrong With Wanting Our Children to Be Happy?
Happiness from the child's perspective is too-often linked to the quantity of physical things they have, and not the authentic experience of happiness itself. Children are growing up with an automatic sense of entitlement as a result of being raised to believe they are at the center of the universe. They confuse happiness with fun and getting their way.
Today's children are unhappy, worried, anxious and depressed in a staggering degree previously unheard of. In a mind-opening study referred to several times throughout the book, over 50% of ninth grade students, when asked about their degree of happiness, responded that they felt "unhappy, sad or depressed" (pg. 3). Clearly these children have been raised on the "I want my kids to be happy" platform where happiness from the parent's perspective is not genuine or of any real benefit to the kids.
Cooper and Keitel present three happiness myths, which can be viewed as the backbone for the lessons of happiness our children are familiar with:
- Money and happiness are directly proportionate.
- Achievement and happiness are directly proportionate.
- Options are proportionate to happiness.
Desiring Authentic Happiness for Our Children
A shift in what we believe happiness to be needs to take place before parents can instill the value of authenticity to their children. Debunking the three happiness myths is essential for all parents if they desire true and genuine happiness for their kids.
In addition to challenging the three myths, parents need to relearn what truly constitutes a happy child. The book refers to these genuine keys of happiness as "seeds" and includes such values as:
- Good mental and physical well-being.
- Discovering and promoting gratifying pursuits.
- Cultivating an optimistic outlook.
- Instilling a sense of spirituality.
- Instilling a sense of gratitude.
- Participating in acts of loving kindness.
- Promoting the importance of closeness to others.
- Providing a life of meaning.
Each "seed" is covered in detail and parents are provided with simple ways to "plant the seeds" of lifelong happiness within their children.
Reinforcing the Concept of Authentic Happiness to Our Children
In keeping with the analogy of planting seeds of happiness within our kids, Cooper and Keitel say we also need to "till the soil" in order to reinforce the concepts previously introduced. This is done by incorporating some simple activities:
- Build connectedness.
- Cherish playtime.
- Stress the importance of practice and mastery.
- Provide recognition.
- Teach self-control.
- Emphasize the value of character.
This book is an easy to read, practical guide for all parents who want their children to learn what it means to be genuinely happy. The lessons offered can be tailored to parents who desire a redesign in their parenting methods, as well as new parents who are looking for parenting alternatives. For more information about this book, visit the official website.
Book Stats:
I Just Want My Kids To Be Happy! Why You Shouldn’t Say it, Why You Shouldn’t Think it, What You Should Embrace Instead by Aaron Cooper, Ph.D. and Eric Keitel, M.Ed.
ISBN# 0979792606
Late August Press, 2008
Paperback, 175 pages
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