NurtureShock and the Inverse Power of Praise

Book Club Questions for NurtureShock Chapter 1 by Bronson & Merryman

Sep 17, 2009

Book club discussion questions for NurtureShock's first chapter, The Inverse Power of Praise, provide a catalyst to share parenting practices and child development ideas.

Book clubs provide an outlet for asking questions, sharing opinions and debating ideas. NurtureShock is a book that generates questions and opens debate. NurtureShock is a natural as a book club selection. The sample book club discussion questions for Chapter 1 "The Inverse Power of Praise" are a way to begin to think about the child development information in NurtureShock and learn from other parents.

Praise and Underperforming

1. Children who score in the top 10% of tests may qualify for gifted educational programs. Obviously, these children have many skills and abilities. Surprisingly, these same youngsters often significantly underestimated their own competence. They discount the importance of effort and overestimate the amount of help they need from others. Praise has been considered the solution to this problem. Tell kids they are smart, that they have what it takes and they will feel confident. Bronson and Merryman suggest that proclaiming a child is smart might actually be the cause of underperforming. How does the information challenge current parenting practices?

Persistence and Effort

2. The Dweck study found that when praise emphasized the effort a child put into work, the child was more successful than when praise emphasized innate intelligence. The reason appears to be what the child can and cannot control. The child controls the amount of effort that goes into the work. Innate intelligence is outside the child’s control. Is this finding surprising? What are some ways to specifically praise effort?

3. A meta-analysis is a study of a large group of individual research studies. Stanford University and Reed College researchers completed a meta-analysis of 150 studies on praise. The finding was that too much praise changed the child’s motivation from the challenge of the task to doing something simply to hear praise. Persistence in working on challenging tasks and the effort that is put into the work both decline. Is the evidence convincing?

Parenting and Unconditional Love

4. Bronson tells how he used the research findings with his own son. He shares his successes and frustrations with the new thinking about using focused praise. Bronson says, “I recognized that praising him with the universal ‘You’re great – I’m proud of you’ was a way I expressed unconditional love.” What are some reactions to Bronson’s confession?

Persistence and Happiness

5. In the Chapter 1 Notes section (page 247), the authors describe how the researcher, Cloninger, located the persistence circuit in the brain through brain activity measurements. Bronson and Merryman conclude that “persistent individuals actually experience the world as more pleasant – less bothers them.” Think about people who are persistent and some who are not persistent. Does real life match the research conclusion?

Parenting and Praise

6. By changing or maintaining the status quo of how praise is given, what would be gained and what would be lost?

7. How did the research and ideas in Chapter 1 – The Inverse Power of Praise – broaden or change perspectives about parenting and child development?

A NurtureShock book club or book group uses the power of social networks to discuss and think about the important parenting and child development topics presented in the book.

The copyright of the article NurtureShock and the Inverse Power of Praise in Parenting Books is owned by Lynn Brogan. Permission to republish NurtureShock and the Inverse Power of Praise in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.